This One's For the Saskatchewan Folk

Recently, my youngest brother, currently residing in Alberta, posted on his Facebook status that he felt out of the loop and wanted to get the news on what's going on in Saskatchewan. Since I'm even further away than he is, I felt the obligation to make something up. And since the other brother thought there was some value in what I came up with, I thought I'd post it here. It's random nonsense, but I kind of like it.

By popular demand, Brad Wall has been replaced by an actual Wall. While Wall has provided valuable infrastructure to the current parliament as a whole, people doubt Wall's long term planning ability. Further, Wall's leadership capability has been called into question; whenever quick action is called for, Wall is reputed to just stand there, blankly. When questioned about this lack of activity, Wall stood silently for 45 minutes until all the reporters felt embarrassed and went home to spend more time with their families.

Later Days.

Shiny Temporal Doom

I was all set to do an epic Daylights Savings Time. I was planning on staying up till 2:00 am, then going on a long, rambling rant on how so much of the world has lost an hour to a ridiculous, arbitrary system that really has no justifying basis beyond "well, everyone else does it." Really, it's international peer pressure at its ugliest. When, I ask, will someone shoot this elephant? Or, rather, refuse to shoot this elephant. Orwell is complicated. And throughout this epic rant, I was going to hold Saskatchewan up as the paragon of common sense, for having the tenacity, the boldness, to stem off all the madness in our indomitable prairie way.

And then 2:00 am rolled around. And 2:01 am, as scheduled. Something had gone wrong. What was it? Oh yeah--it was 2:01 am Monday morning. Mr. I-Represent-the-Intellectual-Future-Of-This-Country forgot the tenet that days change at 12:00 am, which means that 2:00 am Sunday, the Daylight Savings point, was 24 (okay, 23) hours ago. In other words, the incredible inconvenience, the monolithic travesty, the universal idiocy had gone right by and I hadn't noticed. My only timepieces--my iPod, my cellphone, and my computer--had adjusted themselves. I didn't have a direct schedule for today, so there was no adjustment there to make either. I thought I hadn't quite felt refreshed after what I thought was 8 hours of sleep, but that's it. In fact, it was slightly less inconvenient than if I had been in Saskatchewan, because I didn't have the problem that all my TV shows were an hour off.

Does this mean that I've become an Ontarioan? Have I adapted to life under the arbitrary clock? Have I lost my Saskatchewanianism?

Pffff. Perish the thought.

I am a small town, grain-elevator admiring, horizon-watching, cold-enough-for-ya commenting, bunny-hug wearing prairie boy, and don't you latte-swilling, multiple-laned highway driving, clock-switching, Liberal-voting city slickers forget it.

*EDIT* Okay, it turns out my cell phone AKA my alarm clock did NOT automatically adjust itself. So now I'm late for class. And now I'm debating whether it'd be more or less embarrassing to show up an hour late, or just skip it entirely.

Later Days, and Peace Out, Y'all.