Bibliophile: Restoration Comedy and the Scottish Sci-Fi at Capilano U

I spit my truth as I say my rhyme,
Sit back, fool, it's book talking time.

I call people fools a lot.

This is Bibliophile.

This week, we're moving from Alberta to British Columbia, with Capilano University.  Talk on their library's new books, after the break.

Running Man

Will this post be about a convicted man who must fight for his life on live television? Ha, you wish. No, this is, as always, about me.

Last February, I placed myself on the disabled list after I took a bad tumble during a run and could barely walk for a few days. Two weeks later, I attempted to return to form, onto to suffer a disastrous, even more limping relapse. So I took it easy for a few weeks. And then a few more weeks. At the same time, I compensated by accelerating the anaerobic side of the workout. For the first time in my life, my workout routine could be said to approach the coveted "meathead" designation.

But no more! Trepidation shaking every limb, I bounded out into April's bizarre snowfalls (seriously, what's up with the weather these days?) and performed the 3 k run from my house to the university. It was... humbling. The foot fared fine; the only ill effect was that my sides were aching by the time I reached the university, as my lung muscles weren't used to that strenuous a workout. I then proceeded to walk another 6 k, and then I was home.

And since those who have read this far about a fairly boring topic deserve some sort of reward, I also picked up "The Hoax of Romance" by Jo Loudin. It's a 1980s early third wave feminist self-help book designed to help its readers "shake off the shackles of romance." (I'm quoting verbatim here. Okay, I'm not, but that's the type of rhetoric we're dealing with.) I can barely turn a page without snickering, and I'm not sure exactly why--yes, it's ridiculously over the top about its subject matter, but essentially, I actually agree with her main thesis. I'll have to read it, and report back.

And if *you*, the reader at home want to follow along, all you have to do is go to Amazon.com and get your very own copy of the Hoax of Romance... for $157, new. Eep. It seems the Hoax of Pseudo-Intellectualism is alive and well. (See? Where is all this hostility coming from? Find out... eventually.)

Later Days.

How to Change a Bike Tire

I'm going to try and get back to a regular posting schedule. Here's a little gem that, temporally, occurred about a week ago.
Ahem.
So your front tire is leaking air? No problem! Here's an easy, step-by-step guide to changing that tire and getting YOU back on the road.
Step 1. Deflate the tire.
Step 2. Since you don't have the proper tool for opening the tire valve, use a thumb tack.
Step 3. After your hand slips several times, and you prick yourself, you will now be bleeding. Find some kleenex to clean up the blood.
Step 4. Tug and pull at the tire earnestly for a few minutes, and curse at it because you can't seem to remove it.
Step 5. Use the quick-release system to detach the tire.
Step 6. Tug and pull at the tire earnestly for a few minutes, and curse at it because you can't seem to remove it.
Step 7. Detach the front brakes.
*NOTE: Steps 4 and 6 can be skipped if you're in a hurry.
Step 8. Pry the tire off so you can get at the inner tube.
Step 9. Since you don't have any tire levers, use butterknives to pry to tire off. This will also involve much cursing.
Step 10. Remove the inner tube.
Step 11. Stand back and look at the tire, the tube, and the wheel, and feel a sense of satisfaction.
Step 12. Feel sense of satisfaction fade when you realize you're missing something.
Step 13. Go to the bike shop the next day and buy a new inner tube.
Step 14. Buy the inner tube two sizes too big, because you can't read your own hand writing and that 2 really looks like a 4.
Step 15. Put the tube back around the wheel rim, and the tire around the tube. Re-inflate. (Note: Did I mention you need an air pump for this step? Well, you need an air pump for this step.)
Step 16. Experience extreme difficulties because your tube is too big. And because your tire was stretched out severely in Step 9 and now resembles Silly Putty.
Step 17. Get extremely agitated and wonder why you were never taught these things properly and blame a poor upbringing (Hi folks!) and ruminate on how this is everyone's fault but yours.
Step 18. Think dark thoughts and add up all this bike has cost you, in terms of finance and in terms of good mental health.
Step 19. Throw the whole damn thing away and buy a new bike.

Optional: Drink a shot of rum between each step. It can't make things any worse, and it might make them better.

Later Days.