...and there's music, and an improbable couch, and then they all fall into the fountain: Ottawa Trip Part II

It's been a few days now, and the requests for Ottawa blog posts stand at... zero. I'd rave about that result, but it's not like I was really expecting any different, and I don't think most of my regulars have realized I've returned to blogging after the break, so I can't really blame them. Thus, I will choose the topic I want to address first, and the one that is the most difficult: time with friends. I hasten to add that this difficulty doesn't stem from the people I was spending time with (who are awesome) nor the activities (which were awesome) nor the locale (Ottawa's... well, if not awesome then Pretty Okay). Rather, it stems from a realization I made a few months ago that I've stopped talking about some of the more personal stuff on the blog, and, without causing any ripples among the tranquil pond of my life, I'd like to start doing that again. Hence the potential difficult start. Bear with, brave readers, bear with.

I think of myself as a pretty shy person. When I do start talking, it's usually about something that I'm very interested in. The problem is, I don't do a very good job in differentiating between my work interests and my personal interests, or the difference between the listener's interest and my own. So as a result of the shyness and the personal interests, I think I often come off as aloof and an intellectual snob. And as a result of that, I have trouble making a good first impression. (Or, as Occam's Razor would have it, I'm an aloof intellectual snob, and thus have trouble making a good first impression. YMMV.) I'm personally grateful, then, to have had three different friends I could rely on for this trip: one for the ride there and back, one for a place to sleep, and one for a night out on the town last Saturday during the long weekend.

It was a particularly interesting experience because I have to admit, for all three, I don't really know them that well, and yet each has had a very marked effect on my life. To offer an example, it's through the effort of one of them in particular that I struck up a friendship with the guys that are currently my roommate. Now, don't get me wrong here--they are amazing people, and if I was closer friends with each of them, I'd consider myself richer for it. (And I think I have become a little closer with them, and the one I shared a car ride with in particular--you don't spend six hours in a car with someone without getting to know them a little better.) But in each case, we've drifted apart a bit, whether it's because they live in a different city, or because they're running in different social groups. In the case of the friends I reconnected with in Ottawa in particular, you combine that distance with the relative brevity of my stay, and it feels like that I what I got from both of them was a glimpse into their lives.

One of them has been--well, I don't want to say "domesticated" because that has negative connotations, and "settled down" has the same problem. And I want to avoid any negative connotations, because neither really conveys the reality of the situation, nor the experience of witnessing it. Rather, what she has is an apartment, a fiance, and a pair of cats, and honestly, I've never seen her happier. Her life is full and her future has, if I may borrow some nautical imagery, not so much a rigid destination as a clear course, and I kind of envy her that.

The other friend invited me to a BBQ her group of friends was hosting. I met a large group of people having a pretty damn good time. There was, quite literally and liberally, wine, women, and song. What I got to view in this case was a close-knit group of really good people who had fun together without alienating any newcomers (as I can personally attest to). It was a little strange, seeing her in an entirely new group than the one I had previously associated with her (with the both of us), but a good strange, like seeing a favorite actor appear in a well-received new show; there's a sense that things have worked out for the best.

In both cases, the experience was eye-opening, and a little humbling. It reminded me that I'm not the center of the universe. All right,I already knew that, not being entirely an idiot. But seeing them both in their respective elements carried a realization that the lives of people carry on whether I'm involved or not, and there are good people out there worth putting the effort into knowing. And that's what I'm taking from this: that it was because I got to know these friends that I got to experience this weekend in the first place, and if I put the effort into getting to know more people, I'll gain further perspective outside my own head.

(Granted, a lot of the momentum of that vow is negated by virtue of the fact that I stayed home from an invitation to spend some time with new people in order to type this blog post. Baby steps, people.)

Okay, now this is getting a little maudlin and melodramatic, so let's end on the essentials. From one friend, I got a place to stay, some cats to play with (awesome), and Monday morning pancakes (more awesome). From another, I got a ride ranging some 1000 km in total. And from another, I got a night out involving 3/4 a bottle of wine; two drinks, one of which I split on myself and blamed on clumsiness rather than inebriation (it was probably a 50-50 effort); rounds of Taboo, which is a great game for someone who can never spit out the proper name for something anyway; 3 rounds of Queen-based karaoke; a 4:00 am bedtime; and the full realization of why you should aim not to have five hours sleep and a hangover when presenting on a morning panel. All of which is also awesome.

Oh, and friendship is a rich mosaic, one that grows richer if one takes care to add a bit
of variety and depth.


(The title here is supposed to be referencing Friends, in case that's unclear. As in, the subject of today's post is "friends," without the capital. Some of the aesthetics of Taboo are still in my system.)

Later Days.

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Blog: Ottawa Trip, Part 1

And so I return from the sojourn out... east, I'm going to say, shaky knowledge of Canadian geography firmly at the fore. East, and north. I'm back from a conference in Ottawa, and it might have been the most successful conference I've attended to date. The paper went well, the sessions generated both good connections and good conversations, and I've got some future to links to develop based on that. And there was some nice personal stuff too: I got to spend time with two different friends that I haven't seen in a while, and explore a new town, which is also interesting--you don't realize how spatially attuned you are to your surroundings until you're not. Even the ride up was a good chance to get to know a third friend better, and to examine the "Book-on-Tape" in its native element. I'd love to talk about any of these things--but I don't want to talk about all of them. So take your pick readers: fun with friends, Ottawa exploration, conference video game stuff, or road trip. Whaddaya want to hear about? My voice is ready to give word.

Figuratively ready. After the combination of Thursday's rough start, Friday's cat hair shock, and Saturday's Karaoke, I've pretty much lost my voice for the time being--after the paper, thankfully, but only a few hours after. So if anyone wants to hear me talk about the trip, the blog'll be the best place--face-to-face conversations will have to operate on pantomime for the immediate future.

Later Days.

What Have I Done? What Am I Doing? What Will I Do?: Ottawa Edition

It is my current theory that each person contains within themselves a finite limit of focus, and once that limit has been exhausted, they are doomed to flit helplessly from task to task, until events resolve themselves out of pity. At least, that's what I surmise is the case given the last few days and my work on the paper for this Ottawa conference. Readers of the blog are painfully aware of the research effort I put into the game, and if you haven't caught up on that experience, I suggest you go here for a recap. In all, I put together 200 pages of notes, transcripts, and musing, amassing the last 40 pages of it in a single day. And then I spent three days with the attention span of a gnat.
For a sample of my mental state, here's a conversation that happened between me and my roommate last night:

Me: What's that word for when you put together a lot of information, and then compile it all in one place?

Roommate: ....

Me: Oh wait. It's compile. The word is compile. (I stare at him for a few seconds, then amble off.)

The paper, all 10 pages of it, is written, though I have to confess that wasn't much of a feat--between my comp exam last year, the Stiegler files, and the game play, all of the research had been done long ago--all I had to do was stay focused long enough to put it all down on paper, and frankly, that was enough of a challenge. I also put together a slide show, which is really more of a collection of backgrounds to add some flavor to my script than anything especially relevant to my discussion. Ah well. I plan to read through it tomorrow for time and clarity, then print off the final draft.

Other preparations for the trip seem to be going smoothly. My Ipod is updated with a selection of audiobooks for road travel (David Sedaris, Gene Wolfe, and Charlaine Harris, because I enjoy being eclectic), my memory stick has a copy of the paper as well as a movie or two just in case, I've got a set of snacks for the road, and I've picked out my five books. (Previous trips have determined that my own piece of mind requires me to bring a minimum of five books on any trip over 24 hours, to ensure peace of mind.)

I've got to print off choice parts of google maps tomorrow along with the paper, as well as a few phone numbers and a schedule of the conference. The drive up is set, and I've got tentative plans to meet up with at least one person I want to check in on during the stay. The only thing that hasn't been confirmed quite yet is my sleeping arrangements, and hopefully the kink in that will be worked out soon. (He said, fearing the worst with every 64 inches of his body.) Internet access during the trip may be rather sporadic, so don't expect much in terms of updating here till I get back next Monday. To that end, I've decided to do my Friday Quotations ahead of time, on the basis that I can if I want to, so there.

I'm a bit of a homebody (understatement), so the idea of any amount of traveling makes me uneasy (also understatement). Combine this with the uncertainty about where I'm staying and the general anxiety towards presenting a paper, and I am a bundle of nerves. Hell, I'm a whole ganglion. Wish me well, everyone.
*UPDATE* sleeping sitch solved. Which is good, because it means I can rechannel my worrying powers to meeting new people and not looking too nervous--which only makes me look MORE nervous!
Later Days.