Sleep is for the weak, Apu. So you keep working, while I take a nap

My sleep schedule has been off since New Years. At first, it was wild alternations between nights where I'd sleep for five hours, then nights I'd sleep for something insane like twelve. Then school started again, and it was just six hour nights. Last week, I got to the point where I was waking up at 5 or 6 every day, regardless of when I went to bed--I managed to sleep in on Tuesday to the late, late hour of 8 am. Finally, through sheer lack of options, my body gave in to a reasonable schedule, and I started going to bed around around 10 or 11 and waking up an appropriate seven to eight hours later.

All of this is somewhat relevant to my personal identity because--for the past decade at least--I have not been a morning person. When I think of early morning risers, I tend to think of my brother and his wife, who have perfected the early morning routine into an art form. Whenever I've stayed with them, for years now, they go to bed around 9 and wake up--I think--around 5:30 am. I say "I think" here, because I never, not once, have woken up early enough to see them off, unless I'm taking an early flight that day. And frankly, I always thought they were insane. Waking up early seemed, to me, stodgy and old. Staying up all night, in comparison, is exciting--an adventure, or a horror story, if insomnia-induced. Either way, though, it's the better story, I thought.

I was wrong.

Staying up late, if done in company, is an adventure, sure. But waking up early has its own pleasure. It struck me as I was walking to school around 6:00 or so last week, and everything was dark. The streets were quiet, but not empty, not quite. They were populated by people who, like me, were up early, making their way through the world. If you're walking home late at night, it can be a pretty draining experience. Whatever you're walking away from is over and done, so emotionally, you're probably coming down from an intense experience to something more mellow. And your thoughts are getting home, going to bed. If you're up early and it's dark out, it's a different story. People aren't as drained, and there's a purpose to their actions. That purpose creates a sort of joined commonality with the people you run into. On a very quiet, very simple level, there's a sense of communion in the air--not at all religious, but definitely edging on spiritual.

Okay, that's the corniest thing I've ever written here, which is saying a lot. But it's still true.There's a tranquility to being up and about before the morning rush, especially if you've got a lot of time to get where you're going. There's a whole day to get to, and the time you need to get to it.

I'm not a morning person, yet. But I could get there.

Later Days.

I've become a very small portion of the things I hate

One of the truisms of being a prolonged student is that you extend certain "student-esque" traits beyond their commonly accepted lifespan. That is, many grad students are poor, keep poor hours, eat poorly, and live in poorly cleaned areas, often with similarly minded roommates. Generally speaking, the traits tend to fade somewhat when cohabitation with significant others and children enter the list. But frankly, most of that fits me like a glove. Poor cleaning and poor eating habits segue nicely into the life of the eccentric professor, a position I have been training for quite extensively. And the prospect of some day giving up being poor in a monetary sense is a pleasing, if entirely abstract and distant, possibility. But of all the poorness listed above, I never thought that my first to go would be "keeping poor hours."

That's right. I've been sleeping regular hours for the first time since... high school, probably. I go to bed around 10:30 or so, I'm asleep by 11:30, and I'm up at 7. Let me repeat that, as those who know my sleeping habits may have assumed they misheard: "I'm asleep by 11:30." That's right, the man who once prided himself on never closing an eyelid before the witching hour now rarely sees it at all. How did I get to such a state? It started, as most addictive behavior does, in small increments. Since I'm teaching a morning class this term, I figured it behooved me wake up early on class days. And that was fine. A bit of a pain to remember the night before, but fine. But then I started waking up earlier on my Tuesday/Thursdays. And then I did the same on weekends. WEEKENDS. Oh, I've held the line at the 10 am slumber sessions on my weekend days, but it seems that for Tuesday/Thursdays, 7 am is the new noon.
Now, being up at that time has its benefits. I'm getting more work done. I'm seeing more people. But at what cost? Is it worth giving up a romanticized version of my ideal slacker persona just to be more efficient at my chosen profession?

Well, yes, probably. When you put it that way.

Sigh. The real test will come next week, when my new laptop arrives. If my new schedule can survive a time sink like that, it will probably last the rest of my life. Or at least until the first newborn enters the equation.

Later Days.

aRe THe LeTTErs SuPPOsed To dRIP DowN teh ScREEn?

A proper update is coming soon. For now, I just needed a place to say that, thanks to a particularly unfortunate bout of insomnia, I have had six hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, and about 3 in the past 24.
Today's To-Do List:
-Turn in my OGS application
-Meet with one of the chairs on my literary theory committee
-(Start and) Read Foucault's Archeology of Knowledge.
-Go for a run.
-FIND SOME WAY TO FALL UNCONSCIOUS IN ORDER TO GET A MOMENT'S RESPITE FROM THE UNCEASING TORMENT OF THE VOICES IN MY BRAIN
-Eat a light lunch. I'm thinking bagel, apple, orange juice. I could go either way on the cream cheese.

Later Sleeps.

It's WHAT time?

Regular readers know my recent sleep schedule has been... well, problematic is the easy term, and non-existent is more accurate. I wake up today, and my alarm says 6:00. Well, given that I had been up for 30 straight hours earlier, that meant I was waking up pretty early, but, when you can't sleep, you can't sleep, right? So I get up, get dressed, etc. Then the person above me starts playing this loud, booming music. It's fairly annoying, and a lot more annoying at 6:00 am. Rolling my eyes, I boot up my computer.
That's when I figure out it's 6:00 PM. I have just slept for fifteen straight hours. So over the past three days, I have then slept, on average, my regular amount. So much for any work I intended to do today. By this rate, I'll be back to my regular scheduled sleeping by, oh, January or so.

Later Days. (Which I will probably sleep through as well.)