I think we’ve reached an impasse of sorts—or at least I have, which is sort of the point. Normally at this time of year, I’ve got some sort of creative writing project going. This year, I don’t. I don’t even particularly feel the urge to write. I think it’s because I’ve been using this blog as that creative outlet instead. And I don’t know if that’s a good thing. And it set my thoughts on a particular track: what else is this blog potentially blocking?
As the sidebar proudly tells you, this blog was originally started as part of a school project. We passed that phase a while ago. So what it is for now? What does it do? Well, for one thing, it dwells, or maybe I dwell in it. I use it as a forum to vent my frustrations and dwell on my self-doubts. Ok, there’s not a lot of self-doubt in, say, the HIMYM entries. But if you’ve read every entry year, I think you know what I mean. I’ve brought up some of my issues here. In doing so, have I been dealing with them, or am I justifying not dealing with them on the basis that mentioning them here is enough? I think instead of helping me work through things, the blog may just be another form of perpetuating the self-image I purportedly want to change.
On the other hand. There’s no denying that there’s a positive side to it too. It’s connected me to family and friends, and by its presence gives them a chance to feel connected to me. It’s proven to be a sounding board, and performative stage. And sometimes, it’s fun.
Either way, I think it’s time I stopped saying I want to make changes in my life and start actually making changes. And if bringing this blog to a close would be a positive change, then that’s what will be done.
So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going on hiatus. After I get back from my trip out west, I’ll decide whether I want to continue doing this or not. If you think you have a stake or an opinion on this issue, contact me and let me know how you feel. Otherwise... thanks for reading. It’s been a slice.