So, I'm strolling back to the hotel at about 3 am in the morning from a nearby bar when this large fellow comes up to me on his bike. "You're from out of town," he says, in a very friendly manner. "And you look lost. I'm going to walk you back to your hotel." I consider denying that I'm from out of town, but, well, I clearly was in no state to keep up that level of bluff. So I admit it, and we keep walking. I tell him where I'm from, he tells me about the time he spent in Vancouver.
A while into the conversation, I tell him again that it's really not necessary for him to follow me. "No problem," he says. "I'm happy to do it. And, if, when we get there, you want to, maybe, thank me with something, then..." I reply that I don't have much money on me. "Whatever you've got'll be fine," comes the less than reassuring reply.
We walk for a few more minutes in silence. Then he says this: "You know, you really should not walk around with your hands in your pockets like that. Some people see that, they know you're from out of town, and they might take advantage." And that was the point I decided it was time to say goodbye. I tried alternating paces slow and fast, but that didn't work so well. So we reached an agreement: I gave him all four of the dollars left in my wallet, and he'd stop following me. He took the four dollars, and sped off into the night.
It was a cross between a helpful local, an extended begging session, and a mugging. But it was definitely a four dollar story, so I came out on top.