My life is a series of ridiculous and somewhat disgusting events. Case in point:
I went to the doctor today, to get a test performed. The test required that I have a full bladder, so I was given very precise instructions: drink a litre of water of between 2 to 1 hours before the test, and don't drink anything for a full hour before the test. Naturally, I forget to drink at all until it's 5 minutes before the 1 hour mark. Desperate to make up for lost time, I guzzle the full litre in the time allowed. How well did that plan work out? Poorly. Hilarity and probable kidney damage soon ensue. To make a long story short, it ends the way every trip to the doctor's does for me:
...And I could never look the nurse practitioner in the eye again.